With a clean heart to write “Love, is not forgotten” old writer, all the way

2022-05-11 0 By

Renowned Chinese writer Zhang Jie died of illness in the United States on January 21, 2022, according to the China Writers’ Website.Read Zhang Jie’s novel “love, can not forget”, that is a long, long time ago, the feeling of writing a special really, read several times in a row.Love, we cannot forget is a short story published by Zhang Jie in The 11th issue of Beijing Literature in 1979.Through the memory of her late mother by a young woman named Shan shan in her late 30s, the novel reveals the tragedy of zhong Yu and an old cadre who are unable to become married.Zhang jie in the love, is can’t forget, no marriage love deeply describes the pain and the unfortunate marriage without love, is not the surface to critique the so-called feudal traditional morality, to the love but pointedly reveals the social reality and the traditional concept of human nature, people deprived of freedom, and in the spiritual predicament of bondage and deprived of the context of the middleman.The novel also explores human emotions, especially women’s hearts, under the broad background of social changes in The Chinese era, and explains and expresses the female consciousness earlier among contemporary writers. Love, We cannot Forget, has a strong color of idealism.What the author values here is not the result of love, but the process of pursuing ideal love.The love between Zhong Yu and the veteran cadre is an idealized love. What they pursue is not the physical union, but the spiritual and emotional connection.Therefore, the work reveals a kind of helplessness in real life.Just because there are so many defects in real life, there is the pursuit of ideal dream, and with the ideal spiritual pursuit, to fill the deficiency in real emotion, so as to obtain spiritual satisfaction and transcendence.Through the love tragedy of the characters, the author reflects a common abnormal phenomenon: marriage without love and love without respect.Since ancient times, love is an eternal topic, and marriage is the outcome of love.Whether this ending is perfect or not, everyone has everyone’s experience.Happy family, its marriage is naturally the extension of love, not harmonious marriage, it has become the tomb of love.Therefore, how to choose the right person to love, how to get along with the lover, for our family happiness is particularly important.If each of us can understand that love and marriage are two different concepts, in the treatment of their heart will be able to distinguish between them, will not be haggling over trivial matters in life, will not be extremely anxious to ask you ten million times whether you still love me.Love is mutual love and affection, passion and burning, flowers and moonlight, wine and moonlight, without nagging and the burden of life, so love is a kind of enjoyment.Plus everything about you is new to him, full of hazy beauty, so your every move can impact his heart, his hearing and hearing are completely blinded by you.In this soil of love, you can petulant, he will never think you childish, ridiculous and artificial, but feel this performance delicate and charming.Therefore, love never needs to be refined, it is beautiful.And marriage is the daily necessities, children, milk powder and diapers, life trivial, is passion after the responsibility and obligation, is two people together in mutual tolerance and understanding, is a constraint, but also a sacrifice, in addition to the tacit understanding or life trivial quarrel with complaints, no more sweet words, without the feeling of life and death and carrots that day light like water, no taste.So a lot of people into the siege, can not stand the siege of these constraints and triviality of life, do not feel the good marriage, and had to be disappointed to rush out.Then a strange phenomenon appeared in society. Those outside the siege tried to get in, while those inside tried to get out.After we really understand the true meaning of love and marriage, love will become sweet as honey, marriage will become happy and harmonious, become the old myth of love.When we meet someone we love, we should not only speak out loudly and express our feelings to each other, treat each other with sincerity, tenderness, respect and loyalty, but also understand the other half and blend into each other’s heart, so as to harvest sweet love and make love blossom and bear fruit.Love is fate, we should cherish;Love, prove that fate has done, we should timely let go, do not tangle in the past, to move forward, new pursuit of love.The lights dim, there is always a person with open arms standing there waiting for your arrival.Into the siege, two people in love, from fresh to familiar, passion fade, all kinds of shortcomings are gradually exposed.What we need to do now is to tolerate and understand each other.You know, no one is born perfect.There are faults in men, and there are faults in women, too.When the child comes, the couple should take on the responsibilities and obligations of the family, support the elderly, raise the child, cope with the worldly wisdom in life and work pressure and other problems.These things often stir the person exhausted, which have idea and time in every come off work only a little rest time comes the romantic appointment when the field is in love and the tender feelings honey language?At this point, because of too familiar between husband and wife, gradually transformed from love to affection.This kind of affection evolved from love, is a kind of care, a kind of understanding and trust, is the care of life, but also the heart of each other together.They depend on each other in life, support each other, face hardship together, support each other’s career with trust and understanding, use the wisdom of life into the heart of the other side, rather than act in pettish, and outrageous and unreasonable.As a woman, you can not be beautiful, can not earn a lot of money, but must have mature, virtuous, gentle and sensible inner beauty.To know, can have love, is the philosophy of life, is also the great wisdom of life.Do not understand the love of the people, hit a black and blue, hit a broken head and blood are likely.Love is an art you must have been in love, what is the purpose of love?To get married?Maybe a lot of people think that love can pursue anything, but love for marriage is not pure love.In fact, if two people really love each other and can stay together for a long time, then marriage will be natural.A philosopher said: to love a person, we must first have the ability and quality of love, so as to give each other the feeling of real love.Love is more than an emotion; it is an ability, an art.Since love is an art, it requires that those who want to master this art must study and practice it wholeheartedly.The feeling of love, do you have love is a person’s sexual physiology and sexual psychology development to a certain stage of the product, complete love is completed in a certain stage of age, is a man and woman both adore each other, and desire to become a lifelong partner of strong, stable, single-minded emotion.Because human is not only a natural person, but also a social person, so the essence of human love is the harmony between men and women in terms of thought, spirit and emotion, so that both sides can assume the obligations and responsibilities of love.Love is a beautiful and noble emotion, which is the unity of emotional experience and rational knowledge.Of course, complete love should be the unity of spirit and flesh.It contains not only physical attraction and desire satisfaction, but also higher psychological needs, which are emotional dependence, spiritual resonance and spiritual enjoyment.Many people can’t articulate what love looks like when they describe it, but they might describe some of their feelings about it, such as the following.First, the feeling of beauty.The old saying said: “the eyes of the beholder”, in the process of love, men and women both parties are always think of each other is the most beautiful, although the man may head is short, or looks good enough, the woman body bloated, there are a lot of blain blain on the face, but all these defects in the eyes of love both sides as if turned into advantages, even is a kind of unique beauty.Second, the feeling of closeness.When you fall in love with someone, you will feel the other person is very kind, with him, you can’t help but feel warm, very comfortable, you think he is your happy harbor.Subconsciously, you’ve taken him to be part of your family. You think he’s trustworthy, and even when you see his flaws, it’s kind of likeable.Third, the feeling of approval.When you’re in a relationship with someone, you can’t help but brag to others about your partner. These brag and praise are from the bottom of your heart. Any little thing can be a reason to brag to her.A girl in his boyfriend’s birthday party, deep feeling to sing a love song, later this girl’s boyfriend will meet people kua his girlfriend singing good, delicate idea.Fourth, the feeling of being respected.Love can make a person’s self-confidence instantaneous one hundred times, the emergence of “her” because of you, make your life become very meaningful, the uniqueness of each other make you began to emerge, some of your behavior has become the focus of their attention, you will have a feeling valued, respected, and this is love when a psychological experience essential.Fifth, strong possessiveness.Love can not be shared with people, it has a certain exclusivity and exclusivity.Both men and women in love do not want their partners to be too close to other members of the opposite sex. They regard their partners as their own property.Therefore, when you are possessive of someone, you are in love with that person.Sixth, still have freedom of movement.Everyone has their own freedom of action, even when in love, her freedom still exists, love a person, give her enough space to live and breathe, let her do things as usual, this is respect to her.Seventh, physical urges.Both parties in love like holding hands, kissing and other intimate behavior, this psychological fact is very normal, from each other’s touch can derive happiness, such feelings are incomparable.Marriage is a contract which brings us to the essence of marriage.Marriage is essentially a contract.The contract is not established for romance or love, but for the care of offspring by both sexes.The reason why the sexes sign contracts is to help each other, so that together they can raise a child with good genes.This is not to say that our ancestors didn’t have love. In fact, according to some research in evolutionary psychology, the exclusive one-to-one relationship between the sexes was formed millions of years ago.However, love with vigour and vitality is not much after all, the same can be called love.Love itself is an exclusive sexual impulse. It is not limited to love at first sight or love over time, but can also exist in the relationship “arranged by parents and matchmakers”.When it comes to love, the contract is often more important than the love itself.Because love is far less powerful than contract in getting good offspring.Those born on impulse are always less competitive than those born under contract.Therefore, when we sign contracts, we should take into account the characteristics of the other party that we do not have, in order to pass on a greater variety of genes to the next generation.At this point, we may have a mental picture: The love that most of us know and feel does not arise out of thin air, nor does it resemble romantic imagination, but is the product of a set of conditions.Knowing these things might, in probability, help us keep our eyes open when it comes to choosing a mate, rather than letting hormones dictate who we are to the wrong partner.If engagement is a duty, what does it mean?Engagement is a public vow, an oath to be fulfilled in spite of all difficulties.Yes, there are risks involved in getting married, but it’s a risk worth taking that makes our lives more fulfilling.Once you’re married to two strangers, both parties need to be prepared for the fact that your partner will occasionally behave in a way that will disappoint you, and you need to learn to tolerate it and not use it as an excuse to give up on your relationship.This feeling is like “bungee jumping”, if you have played, as long as our body from the platform to take that step, is bound to fall undoubtedly in that moment, there is no room for us to hesitate for a moment or change our mind, regret.Even when our commitment to each other is falling apart, our commitment to marriage is what keeps us together.Perhaps, in the eyes of others, a commitment to another person until death is impossible. If things happen at the right and convenient time, they will keep their commitment to each other, but if things go wrong, the engagement will become a scrap of paper.In fact, fulfilling a marriage contract is far from simply maintaining the status quo and persisting in the misery of an undesirable partner for a lifetime. Fulfilling a marriage contract means continuous emotional investment and management to deepen the feelings of both parties.If your partner’s behavior is detrimental to the maintenance and development of the relationship, don’t just condone it, but actively improve the relationship.Keep your commitment as always, no matter how your circumstances may change.Fulfilling a contract, it seems, is not just about maintaining the status quo, or spending a miserable life with an unwanted partner.The fulfillment of marriage contract means continuous emotional investment and business, deepening the feelings of both parties.