I advise you to get close to these three things as soon as possible to avoid a bleak evening

2022-06-04 0 By

When I was young, my grandmother always said in front of me, intentionally or unintentionally: “Don’t get old, old people will be annoying.”At that time, I was only playing with sand, where to listen, also do not understand the meaning behind this.It was not until I got married that I understood my grandmother’s helplessness.My grandmother has seven children, four sons and three daughters. At that time, every family had a lot of children.Although my grandmother has so many children, few of them are really dutiful. After her three daughters got married, they would come to her son’s house almost every holiday, and the rest of the time, they would help take care of the children or take care of the house, which can be said to be a lifetime of hard work.When grandma became old and could no longer help with the housework, my aunt and uncle suggested that grandma take turns to visit our four sons who had been with them before.Everyone listened to, feel no objection, after all, to support their parents is a matter of course.But this is too much for grandma, who has to move a place every three months. As she gets older, she really doesn’t want to move much.So grandma simply lived alone in the old house until she grew old.Looking back on grandma’s life, it can be said that she enjoys less and suffers more.They say more children, more happiness, but I don’t think so.Everything still needs to depend on oneself, even in the pension this matter, also cannot rely on children completely.After all, the sons and daughters are married and have careers. If their small family lives well, they will be able to take care of their parents.But if they are themselves in financial difficulties, they can only be willing but not able.We need to see clearly a fact, old people, will be disliked, this is an indisputable fact.In reality, many old people refuse to accept the old, still want to master the right to speak at home, but their daughter-in-law is not happy, feel this collision to her.I say that if you want to be liked by your children in your old age, and avoid the desolation of the evening, you should get close to these three things sooner rather than later.One, planning their own pension, as far as possible not to rely on children in our rural areas, the old people almost have a consensus, people have to rely on children when they are old, moreover, children to support the elderly, but also a matter of course.Although the truth is so, I still advise you, planning their own pension, try not to rely on children.Of course, ordinary old people can’t do that.For one thing, they don’t have the ability or the economic foundation to live on. For another, they don’t want to leave their children. They feel that only by living with them can they feel secure in their old age.Many old people, rejected by their bones, go to live in nursing homes, they think it is too humiliating.Having sons and daughters, you have worked hard for most of your life, just to get old and have someone to honor you.In my opinion, this concept needs to change.You don’t have to live with your children to be happy in old age.I’ve seen too many families that exploit the elderly even if they have them.Rather than this, with coolies in exchange for the so-called stability, it is better to live a good old life.It’s nice to have a roof over your head, a pension, a few good friends.As for the children, they can see if they want to, and they don’t want to, and they don’t have to.People to this age, is the light and see through, to live for themselves.Two, have their own hobbies, do not do free nanny a lot of old people, the reason why old, still do not stop, busy at home, not they do not want to, but want to please their children.This is too sad, all hard work for most of my life, when I am old.The more such a person is, the less respected he is, the less liked he is by his children.On the contrary, if the elderly live independently, have their own hobbies and do not do the free nanny at home, it is respected.In many families, the elderly have been acting as free babysitters.Not only have to do laundry and cook, but also have to be busy, at the end of the day, the workload is bigger than the whole day.In my opinion, this will only make the children accustomed to it and not be grateful for it, rather than saying that they love their parents and want to do their best to be filial to their parents.It’s understandable if you’re busy at work.But on weekends and holidays, there are no children to get up and take the initiative to do something for the elderly.Because they have been used to enjoy, not willing to take the initiative to give.The elderly should reverse this situation, cultivate their own hobbies, do not revolve around their children, do not do free nanny, to let them know that each other are independent individuals, to respect each other.Of course, there is a degree in this, not to say that the elderly completely abandoned children, the elderly bear and help, or to take the initiative as, otherwise it will only backfire.Chinese parents, it is more difficult to learn to let go, even if their children, have become parents, but for them, is still not grow up children, or can not help but worry about them.Well, you don’t have to. You know what they say, they have their own children.They have their own way to go, and if they say too much, they will be disliked rather than appreciated.Many old people, often in the name of love, or think you are good, and intervene.If the end result is a happy one, it’s fine. If it’s not, you’ll get blamed and blamed.All this is pitiful.If they don’t want to suffer such pain, they have to learn to let go, not interfere with their children’s decisions, put their own position right, to look at the world coldly, it will be much better, at least not with worry.Of course, the vast majority of older people are used to giving advice, not willing to take a back seat, nor learn to let go.Try anyway. It may be hard at first, and you’ll worry about your kids and grandchildren, but you’ll be more comfortable with it as you go along.We should understand that people are walking on the road of farewell in this life, and it is better to let oneself bear in advance than to mourn in the future.It brings benefits not only the happiness of old age, but also the independence and happiness of future generations.Really wise old people are willing to let go, because they understand that their children and grandchildren have their own fortunes, and rather than thinking about everything for them, they should let go and let them grow up, which is the way to long-term happiness.People’s situation, whether good or bad, is the result of their past choices, and the elderly are no exception.If you don’t want to grow old and be disliked by your children, you have to get close to these three things.You may end up being a bad old man, but at least doing something is better than doing nothing at all.Always plan for yourself, even if you have children to rely on.In fact, people to the end, really can rely on, also only our own.In this case, we need to think more about how to make our old age happy, and not feel that it is long term, or unnecessary.Forethought makes sense, unforethought makes waste.Old people should plan their old age by themselves.Some might say, what’s the use of having children?In the end, you have to live on your own.I think the point of having children is not to give yourself security, but to enjoy the process of parenting.When you have no plan, also can calm in the face of human changes in temperature.The reason why people will suffer emotional pain is precisely because of covet, should not belong to their own things.If an old man wants to be happy in his old age, he should live a full life.