Does a 4-year-old have to be a 3-year-old?Kids don’t fight for toys, they fight for attention

2022-07-01 0 By

Article I Fulin Mommy Xie Nan asked a question in a program: do 4-year-old children have to let the 3-year-old?What did he learn more about?Because of an extra year of kindergarten?She said: “We had two children who fought each other all the time. After being a mother for six years, I had an Epiphany: What do they fight over, what do they fight over, what do they fight over, what do they fight over?01 A lot of parents have two treasures, they will teach big treasure to give up the younger brother and sister, especially when the two children are not young, in the competition age, the solution between the two children is always inclined to, the elder sister should give up the younger brother and sister.For five-year-old Hua Hua, everything in her family has changed recently because of her brother’s arrival.From the moment her mother came home from the hospital with the crying baby in her arms, everyone told Huahua that she was now a sister.But it’s clear the five-year-old’s big sister isn’t ready for her new status.When relatives and friends come to the house, they play with the new baby and ignore the flowers. The new baby gets all the new toys and clothes.To make matters worse, the parents seem to have eyes on the ‘troublemaker’ as they spend their sleepless nights watching the troublesome baby and are told to keep quiet while she sleeps.Not only that, they sleep next to him, holding him gently, they are exhausted by the baby, no longer have extra time to play with Hua Hua used to love to play games.As a result, Hua Hua’s mood began to become unstable, easy to anger.When she saw her baby drinking milk, she would squeal for milk.In fact, Hua Hua did not like to drink milk powder since childhood.Not only that, in a short period of time, she “lost” all skills, big and small things to help her parents.And for this new arrival and his “pet” brother, flower flower also showed full of unfriendly, two children cry at the same time from time to time, let mom and dad headache.From an adult’s point of view, you will feel that the child is so ignorant, but from a child’s point of view, you will find all this is very strange.Why all of a sudden mom and dad grandpa and grandma began to ask her to understand, why she needs to “grow up” overnight?Mom and dad said, because my brother is still small, nothing, need to take care of, so she will think, if I also nothing, mom and dad will pay attention to me a little bit?This is why children “behave backwards”.Since the opening of the two-child and three-child policy, many families have ushered in their “two-child and three-child era”, but the situation of this new family model is far more complicated than expected.With the advent of the new members, usually has two kinds: dabao performance for most of the children, they are calm on the surface, can also mean to say the words “love brother (sister)”, they are willing to help take care of the baby, such as fetch bottles, diapers, blankets, etc., can also expressed willingness to want to hug a brother and sister;There are also a few children who show obvious resistance, angry at the fact that they have been “dethronded” and sometimes even turning their anger on to the innocent little ones, who are clearly hostile to the “unknown”.However, no matter what kind of case, the child’s innermost feelings of jealousy are growing and spreading, perhaps they can not say the name of this feeling, also can not understand the existence of this feeling, but it really affects the child’s psychology and behavior.And this kind of emotion arises precisely from the improper behavior of mom and dad.What should parents do to ensure that the emotional connection between children and us is not broken and that children find a sense of belonging in the family?Before the arrival of a new baby, parents can talk to the baby about the little life in the mother’s womb, tell the child when the baby is coming, and tell the child what the life of the new baby will be like.Then tell the child, when his child a baby, the family is how to decorate the room for him, small bed, prepare clothes, small quilt, and tell him, at that time everyone likes him very much, and he prepared a lot of interesting toys and books.Mothers are advised to take out baby albums to help their children understand what a baby’s life might be like.As much as possible, involve your child in the preparations for the arrival of a new baby, such as setting up the room, buying toys, and asking for suggestions, such as the color of the sheets and clothes.When the new baby arrives, the child can also participate in the care of the newborn, such as singing a song to the baby, or helping to carry diapers.Remember, the more involved a child is, the less loss he or she will feel. A child’s affirmation of his or her own skills and contribution to the family goes a long way toward helping him or her feel valued and belonging.The arrival of a new member of a family always brings surprises and challenges. No matter how much we are struggling, make sure to set aside some special time for Dabao. We call it “one-on-one” time.It’s not a long time, but it’s necessary.Maybe try reading a storybook or listening to your child share what happened at school at the dinner table.This “one on one” time should not be interrupted by work, friends or other family commitments, and we can ask other family members to baby-sit if necessary.Multi-child families are different from single-child families. The relationship between parents and children is sometimes very delicate. If handled well, the two children will love each other and love their parents.Finally, I would like to present the words of Fu Seoul from “U Bi Bi Bi” to all parents: “If your child has 100 sweets in his hand, how can he mind sharing?But if your child has only two sweets in his hand, how can you expect him to be generous?”